WAR AT HOME: MISSING SCENES
by Patcat
Summary: What happened.


THE WAR AT HOME: MISSING SCENES

She sat curled up on her couch and flipped the pages of the photo album, occasionally pausing to stare at one photo or another. She lingered over one picture that showed a young Alex Eames in her wedding dress.

"I don't think I know you any more," the older Alex whispered to the photo. "I know I don't want the things you wanted…I think I know who I am…but I don't think you'd like me…and I don't think I'd like you…and I'm pretty sure Joe wouldn't love me…and I don't think I'd love Joe…" She shook her head. "And I know Joe wouldn't like Bobby Goren…"

Sighing, Alex closed the album. She was sure she'd never completely understand Bobby Goren, but she'd understood some of what he'd experienced in the last hours. She'd had to deal with a parent's serious illness, after all, but the entire Eames clan had rallied to deal with her mother's stroke. When one of them had to leave her side to deal with work, children, wives or husbands, another immediately stepped in to deal with doctors, nurses, insurance companies, and even other Eameses. But Bobby…Bobby was alone.

"And he doesn't have to be…" Alex thought. "I'm here…even Ross is willing to cut him some slack…Bobby's been here for me…Why can't he…"

She sighed again. She'd talked to Ross after Bobby rolled from the office without his binder and with his statement that he didn't care if he was fired. To be fair to the captain, by that point he didn't require that much of an explanation.

"What is it with your partner?" Ross had asked with no little exasperation at the start of the case when Bobby had answered his cell phone for the umpteenth time that morning.

Alex had hesitated for a beat; she didn't believe it was her place to reveal all of Bobby's troubles, but she also felt the need to offer an explanation to her captain and to defend her partner.

"It's his mother," Alex finally said. "She's just been diagnosed with lymphoma…He's all she has…and she's all he has…and she's…she's been very demanding…It's a complicated relationship."

"And," Alex thought. "That's the understatement of the year…"

Ross had studied her for a moment, and Alex saw a glint of sympathy in his eyes. "So…that was the family he was with this morning." Ross looked across the parking lot as Bobby performed his usual meticulous examination of a potential crime scene. "I'll give him as much slack as I can," Ross said. "But he hasn't asked for leave…and I need the best on this one…I need you and him."

Alex had to admit that Ross had kept his word. He accepted Bobby's trashing of his desk as a need to express his anger; he waved away Bobby's rush from the office.

"He needs to be with her," Ross said softly. "He's not fired…He'll be reprimanded, but nothing major…" He glanced at Alex. "Actually, I feel sorry for him."

Alex stared at Ross, who gave her a quick smile.

"He's going to have to deal with you after you deal with all of the paperwork."

Alex grew increasingly angry as she plunged into the paper involved with the closing of the case. "After all," she thought as she furiously signed another form. "He's not the only one having a tough time right now…He's not the only one who got Thanksgiving upset…"

Ross pushed her out of the office as he left. "I'm salvaging something out of the weekend," he told her. "And so should you." He handed Alex her coat. "And I left your partner a message that he isn't fired. It looks like he's finally shut off his cell phone." He touched Alex on the shoulder. "Let him know…he can take leave…but he has to talk to me."

Alex stared for a few moments at Bobby's binder, which still rested in the middle of his desk. She finally grabbed it and took it with her as she left the office. It now rested, along with the usual assortment of bills and ads, on the table just inside her front door.

"Damn him!" she thought as she slipped the photo album back in its place. "If he'd just talk to someone…" She stared at the neat row of albums on the shelf. Before she hurriedly left her parents' home on Thanksgiving, she'd briefly spoken with one of her older nieces about letting her use the albums for some genealogical research. The thought struck Alex that she'd never seen such albums in Bobby's apartment; in fact, she'd never seen any personal photos in either his apartment or on his desk.

"His life is work," Alex thought. "For all of his reading and his interest in everything, his life is work…for him to say he doesn't care if he's fired…even in the heat of a moment…he must be in a bad state…" She sighed and rubbed her eyes. "I let him know I'm here…and he told me to back off…but…I NEED him…I hurt…and I need him…after all we've been through…He knows I need him…he takes care of me…he tries to take care of everyone…why doesn't he let me…anyone…help him?"

A soft knock at the door brought Alex out of her thoughts. She cautiously approached the front door—her body was largely healed, but her mind still bore bruises from her ordeal at the hands of Jo Gage—and peered through the security glass. An exhausted looking Bobby Goren stood before the door; Alex opened the door quickly before he could flee.

"Hey," she said gently. Now, she thought, wasn't the time for anger.

He stared at his feet, his hands jammed in his pants pockets. He wore the same clothes that he had on when he fled the office. He shivered, and Alex thought it was not just from the cold.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and briefly raised his eyes to meet hers. The pain and shame and exhaustion in them nearly sent Alex reeling away from him. "I'm so sorry…" He choked on the words.

Alex recovered her voice just as he lost his. "Come in before you get pneumonia." She gently guided him into the living room. "You want something to drink? You hungry?"

He shook his head as he stood in the middle of the room. Waves of exhaustion swept from him, and he rubbed the back of his neck.

"You still have a job," Alex said cautiously.

Bobby glanced at her. "Ross…Ross has been…decent about this…I had…no right…I've been a jerk…" He stared again at his feet. "Especially…with you…I had no right…to tell you…you of all people…to back off…" He started pacing, although Alex thought he was barely aware he was striding around her living room. "It's just…I felt like there was no space…no place…for me…Everything was pressing in on me…I…I needed space…and there wasn't any…But…what I did…what I said to you…I…I had no right…There's no excuse…It's just been work and my mom for so long…I don't know how…to let…to deal with another person…" He ceased his pacing and shivered. "I'm sorry…It's so little to say…but it's all I can…I'm so sorry…"

Alex's anger dissolved in the face of Bobby's anguish. She stepped close to him; her hands hovered near him. "I've missed you…I need you too…these past two nights…" She swallowed. "I thought I was losing you…"

Bobby's arms were wrapped around his body; Alex finally and gently touched him. He wavered for a moment, and then fell to his knees and wrapped his arms around her waist. Alex tenderly held his head against her breasts and ran her hands through his hair.

"You're not alone, Bobby. You have friends. Ross will help you as much as he can. I want to help you."

"I…I'm not used to…" His voice was muffled against her body. "I don't know…how to…to ask for help…to accept it…"

"You're good at giving it," Alex said softly. "All this time…every time I've asked you…you've been there…you've come to me…maybe you could just reverse the process…"

He trembled. "It's not…not that easy…I know it should be…but it isn't…"

She brushed her lips against his curls. "I'm glad you came to me…I'm glad you're her…I can at least give you back your binder…"

"I…I've felt naked without it," he said weakly.

Alex smiled at him. "And I can let you know that you owe me the next few weeks in paperwork."

She felt him relax against her. "I'll do as much as I can…" Bobby swallowed. "It may be all Ross'll let me do for a while…but…I don't know…my mom…"

He lurched to his feet; she still embraced him.

"How is she?" Alex asked.

Bobby allowed his head to rest on hers. "They…they gave her some meds to help her sleep…She was better even before that…She…she finally realized they were trying to help her and not hurt her…" He smiled weakly. "Her doctor told me to go home and shut my cell phone off…She'll be fine until tomorrow at least…" His grip slightly tightened around Alex's body. "But I needed to see you…to apologize…"

Alex pulled gently and reluctantly from him. "Listen…you get a shower…and I'll get you something to eat…I've got more food than I know what to do with…"

"You're…you're sure…"

She smiled at him. "I WANT you here."

She managed to get some food inside of him before she led him to her bed. She turned off all of the lights except for the small nightlight she'd taken to leaving on in her bedroom and slipped beneath the covers next to him. She curled around him, spooning his large body as much as she could with her small one.

He shivered, sighed and turned to face her; she could just make out his dark, troubled eyes.

"Thank you, Alex…I…I don't deserve you…this…"

She hugged him. "Yes, you do. And thank you."

They clung together as they fell into sleep.

End


End file.
